As women, carrying concealed presents challenges that our male counterparts don’t have to deal with. Besides the obvious fact that our body shapes are different, our clothing options and choices differ vastly. Being a woman is one of our greatest assets—we have so many clothing choices to suit our look or mood for the day. Our style and clothing choices are our own way of being able to express ourselves without words. And nobody needs to know what we may or may not be concealing underneath.

Many think that when they decide to start carrying concealed it means that they have to either buy an entirely new wardrobe, size up in all their clothes, or, and I cringe, throw on some type of fisherman’s style vest and you’ll be good to go.  No thank you to all of that. I’m here to tell you and show you that you don’t have to sacrifice your style in order to carry concealed.

As I mentioned, one of our greatest assets and advantages of concealed carry is that we are women. I used to think that proper concealment meant finding ways to distract the eye of a passerby and ensuring that there was no sign of printing at all. I've learned it's sort of a combination of both, however, it's also the mindset that it's not expected. Meaning, being a woman, most people would never expect us to be carrying a firearm. So we need to use that to our advantage.  I think that unexpectedness gets solidified in the way we dress. Carrying concealed doesn't mean you have to pile on layers, ditch cute clothes, and start going full on GI Jane; there are ways to incorporate your self-defense tool into your current wardrobe.

I think all my outfits are a good example of this. Yes, I've made changes in terms of the types of tops I've chosen to wear but, in general, my style hasn't changed. I think how I dress and present myself reaffirms the notion that it's not expected that I'm carrying because I don't fit "the mold" that people have of a woman that carries concealed.  You should never feel that you can’t carry because of how you dress; don’t let that stop you. True, it's not seamless like a new pair of shoes. It takes a little bit of time and patience to find what works for you. However, don't be discouraged because being a woman is your best asset against that feeling that we all have when we first start carrying that "everyone knows or can see the firearm."

While I offer lots of tips when it comes to dressing for concealed carry, there are other areas that must be embraced to make this lifestyle choice easier. That can be done by adopting the five principles below so that you can start carrying today.

it’s a lifestyle

One of the things that you should understand when you make the choice to take responsibility for your own safety and decide to carry a firearm, or any self-defense tool, is that it’s a lifestyle.  Just like eating healthy and working out is a lifestyle choice, so is carrying a firearm. So you need to be ready to go all in with a commitment to training, responsible gun ownership, the mindset shift, education, and the expenses that come along with the lifestyle. When it comes to training for this lifestyle, it’s important you are training in how you dress and live in your daily life because that’s when you very well might need your firearm.

play dress up in your closet

I’m often laughed at when I talk about playing dress up especially as an adult but it’s something that I truly believe when it comes to the concealed carry lifestyle. I have talked about it not only on my podcast but on several others and have reiterated it on social media and several posts within SMT. Yes, it sounds odd but one of the main questions I continually get and some of the concerns I’ve heard with women and concealed carry is that they think they have to buy an entire new wardrobe. And as always I’m here to tell you otherwise. Playing dress up is truly the best way to see which holsters and firearms work with clothing items you already own. Oftentimes when I’m planning outfits for a trip or an event, I try on different clothes in my closet to figure out what I want to wear. I’m essentially playing dress up. You basically want to play dress up with your holster and firearm. I will preface that you please ensure your firearm is clear and there is no live ammo around; as always even if no live ammo is in your firearm, always follow the rules of gun safety. Once you’ve found an outfit you like, practice your draw walking, sitting, or going to the bathroom to see if you run into any issues. If everything works, take a photo of your outfit on your phone. You can start an album on your phone of concealed carry outfits that work. Then you can reference this for those days when you’re standing in front of your closet wondering what you are going to wear. I know we’ve all been there.

shop with a new eye

As you start living this lifestyle and become aware of what clothing/outfits work for you, you’ll notice that you might be shopping with a different eye so-to-speak. Where in your pre-carry life you might have selected a top based on it being “cute”, now you’ll start asking yourself “how will it conceal?” That doesn’t mean you can’t still buy that cute top nor will the top that you select for concealed carry not be cute. It’s more of a matter of being more selective in your clothing choices so you have more options, and that makes this lifestyle simpler.

have holster options

When you first start carrying you may only have one holster and that’s totally okay. You’ll soon come to have a box full of holsters like most of us; while I personally have that same box, there are only a few that are in rotation. I don’t like switching up my daily holster. However, I believe for us women it’s important to have holster options. We have such a wide variety of clothing options that it’s not a one size fits all holster situation or lifestyle. If you’re a shoe lover like myself, then you can relate as you probably have different pairs of shoes for different outfits and occasions. The same holds true when it comes to holsters. There are so many companies that make holsters to accommodate our lifestyle and clothing choices that when you are moving through this lifestyle having the options on hand will make dressing for concealed carry even more seamless. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out my recommendations for the holster options you should have on hand.

have patience

You have to remember that deciding to carry is a lifestyle and with any lifestyle change, there is some trial and error. Don’t expect to strap on a gun and think you’ll be good to go. Have patience with yourself in finding holsters that work for you, outfits that work for you, and patience in your training. It’s not always going to be smooth sailing. There will be some days when you’re carrying and it will be annoying. This has happened to me many times and in outfits I’ve worn over and over. For whatever reason everything about carrying just seems to bother me that day. I can’t tell you why but it just did. However, I made a commitment to this lifestyle so I will learn, adjust, and keep moving forward.

READ MORE: The Women’s Ultimate Guide to Dressing for Concealed Carry

Carrying isn’t about being comfortable; it’s about bringing you comfort but you can find the right balance. Comfort that you can protect yourself if you need to. When you decide to carry a self-defense tool, whether it be a firearm or something else like a TASER or pepper spray, carry whatever you feel comfortable carrying. If, for you, that’s a full-size firearm then so be it. Don’t let anyone tell you that what you are carrying is “too big” or is “not a good tool.” If you can conceal it in a manner that works for you, and so long as you have trained with it and are confident in using it, then the defense tool you choose is your choice. In the end, you are the one that may have to use it, not someone else.